Friday, May 8, 2009

mama time

the findings from this morning, the morel gods were shining on T apparently. He giggled.
Working on a chicken coop, I know it's been on my mind but this progress is not due to my nagging.
The dash around the table is his favorite game.

But that was a few days ago and now, it's just me. They're gone, all three of them, as a early mothers day present I suppose, off to oma & opa's house for the night. Big, deep sigh. What to do?? Well plenty of course, I'm able to blog & change things around a bit here and in my real physical house. Here's my list:
house stuff
- weed & mulch front garden
- change sheets
- finishing that huge pile of laundry down there
- figure out where that smell is coming from
- tidy up
me stuff
- have some good friends over for a rowdy " my parents are out of town party"
- sleep it off
- go to the market w/o lugging kids
- paint
- print
- sit
- listen
Indulge me:
It's been on my mind lately the limbo of this little family. Well, not the boys just me. It stems from the big question all families face , is this my whole family? Is there any one out there who's missing? maybe 2 ? Or is this US, our unit? Other families we know who are sure that they're done having kids seem so settled, moving forward. Saving special outfits and handing over the rest, sure that they won't need them anymore. Now I should make it clear, I am not planning on getting pregnant any time soon, but it just popped in my head. Who else is out there for us? I'm not the most patient mother, nor am I the calmest so adding another little one may just tip me over but I can't help but thinking that it's in the cards. And what does that mean? hmmm, I think I need my first cocktail to think it over.
Happy Mothers Day all of you
love, Lily


K, M, little C, and little J said...

Such good questions Lil. We are done and done! And, it feels good most of the time...knowing the shape of our future to some degree and planning for it with two boys. But some days it feels sad, like the baby days are going too fast if they are never coming again.

h. said...

My younger daughter has been asking me that same question lately. "Mom, how do you Know I won't be a big sister?"

For us, my husband and I, we always planned for two children. Our house holds four nicely, his paycheck covers our needs with care but without panic, and I can hold hold two hands to cross the street. With a third child, who would loose out? My older daughter who would loose her hand, or my younger daughter who would become a "middle" child. Sure, other families do it handily... but it just doesn't sound right for us.

To further cement our choice to declare this our family, my OBGYN warned against a third child when our second was born. The end of that pregnancy was an unsettling mixture of What-Could-Have-Happened and Look-How-Lucky-We-Were.

This isn't to say that I don't have moments of envy when I see a pregnant woman. I Loved being pregnant, but in the same way I loved being 17 or single. There is a time and place for these things in my life, and I have reached a point where both have passed me.

The decision to declare a family complete is hard, and often not permanent. Sometimes changes come at us unexpectedly. Families are fluid things that grow and, sometimes, shrink. The decision to stop producing children is only one part of how a family grows, and it is not a simple one.

Take care!

ten finger workshop said...

thank you both so much for your insight and honesty.

Naomi said...

Ah, just when I thought I was most likely done, or MAYBE one more a year or so from now....

Well, let's just say I'm heading to the OB in an hour.

My husband and I feel extremely blessed with our next addition, but with an 11 year old, 10 year old, and 10 month old, it is hard.

Whatever decision you make will be what is right for your family. The universe has a way of working those things out...